Awkward: How One Word Ruined a Magic Moment with my Daughter
By cori • Jan 28th, 2012 • Category: The Momoir Blog
One morning a few weeks ago, I walked into my daughter’s grade two classroom at lunch to bring her the pair of rain boots she had accidentally forgotten at home. When I peered in the doorway, I could see her sitting at her desk, her long, straight brown hair falling across her face, opening her lunch box. I walked quietly and gave her my million-dollar smile and leaned over to give her a kiss when the boy beside her says, “Awkward.”
But it’s not just the word, it’s the way he said it that made me want to slap him across the face. I would never do that, of course, and I tend to love all children but the word awkward and its new pervasive use in our culture is driving me mad. I hear it all the time when my kids watch those horrible shows like Suite Life on Deck and Shake it Up! There’s a whine associated with the word in its popular usage, an emphasis on the first syllable that grates at the ear.
What was really infuriating – beyond the interruption of a beautiful moment – was that it wasn’t awkward. I was a mom visiting her 7-year-old daughter at lunch. Seven-year-olds kiss their moms. They’re still small and cute. It would be awkward if I walked the same way into my son’s Grade 5 classroom. That would have been more than awkward. It would have been mortifying. But this innocent trip? Nothing awkward about it.
And yet, the result of his inane comment was that my daughter was embarrassed to see me. She kissed me shyly, not enthusiastically. She looked around at her friends and I could see that she was gauging their reaction. I think they all saw the daggers in my eyes and didn’t say anything. I hope they understood how rude it was and how inappropriate.
My daughter is at that age when our culture starts to push hard for independence. She’s at that poignant crossroads, preparing for the time when I let her go to the park alone or to the store. But not yet. She’s not ready to push me away. Not because she’s 7, but because of who she is. She can clean her room, get herself a snack, play on her own in her room, but she still likes it when I’m there to pick her up from school at the end of the day. And she likes it when I surprise her in the middle of the day with a surprise visit. Not anymore. One word ruined has ruined that possibility forever.
My seven-year-old is not a teenager. She doesn’t need to feel embarrassed when her mom pops into her classroom. She should feel honored that I took time out of my busy day to make sure she had her boots, to give her a midday kiss. She doesn’t need the word awkward in her life. And neither do I.
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Ouch! Yes, that's a heartbreaking moment.
Big lump in my throat reading this…..but such a nice piece<3 My big kid turns 18 in three days and for him it was 11 when I got the same big kiss-off. Middle School….when being cool began and I wasn't invited along for the ride. Now I see it has come earlier…by 7 your girl is now aware. My wee boy is in Kindergarten and I eyeballed those Grade 5 kids the first school day of the year. They were different from what I recall 10 looking like when my big lad was the same age. They Tony Hawke t-shirts and knowing swagger not seeen until Grade 7 my first time around was there on the elementary school playground. There in front of my five year old boy's curious eyes. And all day now too not like that half-day, home for lunch with Mom I loved so much with my big lad. My second little boy is on the playground with the big kids and gone from his little-boyhood sooner than his big brother. Gulp. It's comin' for my wee lad and I'm not sure I want to think about what age it will arrive for my wee girl sitting cutie-pie at almost 2. Scares the shit out of me some days pardon my potty-mouth.
You nailed this one Cori….as always:) Unless we move our kids and lives to a cave in the forest the media machine is tough to tame as a parent. I know there are parents out there living with no cable, no internet, no technology at all and when they're babies it's easy but we find it exhausting but oh-so imperative to police the technology WE are now dependent upon as diligently as we can. They go into the school system it becomes a race to stay in their loop I find.
LOVED this one……:)
Don't you wish you could rewind or edit moments like that? Write a scene where that kid comes back to class with toilet paper hanging out of his pants after you've dropped off the boots? If it's any consolation, he probably said what he did because he doesn't receive a lot of affection at home. Achingly lovely story!
I've loved every blog post I have read on your blog thus far but this one seems a tad abrasive. The boy is just a 7 year old child and children say things that they may not truly understand. And to wish this child would walk back into the room with toilet paper hanging from his pants is truly sad. A better, more healthy approach to this situation would be to share how we would talk to our child about how people react to certain situations and how we can best react to these, and other, awkward moments.
I do enjoy reading this blog but I did feel the need to share my sentiments on this sad story.